Dealing with Personal Attack on Social Media, and Why We Shouldn't Shut Up - A Personal Opinion

February 07, 2020

Since I've been dealing with depression due to burnt out, I tried to heal in 'organic' ways. I fixed myself, starting by KonMari, to keep fighting to have a balanced lifestyle, eating well, and workout. I even review which healthy/which toxic relationship I should keep/leave. But, along the way, you'll find a few bumps, like new people coming in and old friends leaving you out. What if you try your best being you, being a good friend, during your recovery, then a person whom you think is your good friend is the one who's actually attacking you?

No matter how soft and subtle, an attack is an attack. It felt worse when it's done by a person you knew for a long time.

Ok, first one! I'll try to make it brief.

Lately, there was an event where I was invited. The event was unique, held in public transportation, in rush hour. I took some videos, posted with their hashtags. That's it. I SAID NOTHING ELSE. It was my form---and everyone's---of support to my friend who was part of the event. And, a photo on my Instagram feed, written 'My TGiF'. Later on, I heard there was a series of complaints on Twitter.

I didn't stay on the after-party that long as I had Ballet class in the morning. On the way there, I received a notification from my Twitter, that I was mentioned in a reply, under apology Twitter post from the organizer of the event. That Twitter mention demanded me to comment---done by someone I knew for a long time, whom I consider a really good friend---I can't tell you how much I really cared for this person when he's not well or anything. Maybe it doesn't matter for him or it wasn't much. Yes, it wasn't much, of course. "any comment on this? [evil laugh emoticon]"---> among twitter riot. Giving the context that by asking my comment would mean a way to put me in that riot, too! Why would a friend do that?

On another side, as an experienced PR person, I knew my comment would like adding gasoline to the useless fire. Any kind of comments would only make me a twitter troll. It would only be considered wrong.

Everybody is saying the negative thing. And me, trying to say something objective or else, would not do any good.

Anyway, what kind of comment would you expect from me?

At the same time, why would you need a comment from me... who wasn't the organizer, who just posted some videos on her IGStories and didn't brag for being there (while there were people who were depressed due to the event) as I was there to support my other friend? Please note, it would be a public comment as it was under the organizer's post, where he clicked reply and mention me.

If you really want an insider's story, this person could just text me. I'm a quick replier unless I was in class, in a meeting, in bathroom situation or sleeping too deep.

But I chose not to stay quiet. Giving silence would never let you win, but you should know on what channel you're speaking. So I chose not to reply on twitter, even though on Whatsapp might still be dangerous. I told everything on a personal channel.

Giving silence could mean you're agreeing on things it wasn't supposed to be; you're agreeing for being ignorant; you're agreeing on the thing that is not the truth. Or, that you're showing you are scared to face the situation.

In this situation, why am I scared to face this? This isn't a political attendance.

What crushed me, even though he figured out that I wasn't that being ignorant as he first thought I was, this person has reasons not to think that way as he has known me for so long. I thought he should be better at understanding how I react about these things.

I didn't complain on social media because I analyzed both sides of the stories and deliver my inputs to the person directly. Yes, I can do that, coz I really know the organizers. I can do it directly, yes directly. So why would I scream on social media for that? That's why and now you know I didn't shut up. Of course, I'm not that ignorant.

That makes me wondered: why would a person who has been friends with me still thinks I'm ignorant or can be an ignorant person within a turn of an event?

Truly, it disappoints me.

It also gives another clue, this person was actually trying to set me up! By thinking that I would definitely siding with the organizers as I was invited, I would only say the good stuff and defending them among the Twitter riot...which that would lead me to a personal PR crisis.

Ok, but I've managed to dodge the trap! Luckily.

I know some of the negative comments are coming from people who are actually deranged by the event. Some others are being jealous--> yes, this can happen. He also stated to me hating the fashion people just because they're 'more posh' in that event. Well, they can be annoying, but hating these people for this, isn't the correct reason.

So, I cleared out what happened to that person, but still, I can't help being devastated as a person who knew me for so long, thinking of me that low. I am failing myself for trusting the wrong person, caring about the wrong person, and everything. Again, I'm wrong about a person.

But how do you handle it?

During the talk, I also said this wasn't a fair complaint. I myself have been experiencing almost the same bad stuff when there was an event in the metro station. Exactly, the same metro station! Nobody complained, as it was a free event and everybody could enjoy it. The event I was invited was a limited event. Get the picture?

As I was there, it made me a witness. I knew the mistakes, the flaws, and anything the event had, but I also knew what has gone out of proportion.

In conclusion, I cleared out but on the right channel. Coz this person wasn't there at all, he knew from the twitter brouhaha only and basically, nobody owed him a special explanation!

The organizer already stated an apology, things have been a lesson. It was their first event in such a situation. What's done is done. Moving forward and improve.

Replying on social media is a tricky thing. It is easy to do, but it's politically tricky. We should weigh on who we are, in what capacity, where our level is and how things can go wrong to its worst. Then, it should lead to whom we talk to, does he really need our reply and what kind of reply this person should be given, in what worth?

Of course, how we dirige the reply is also important.

Sadly, as this is personal to me, me being hurt, I need to let it out. People are always surprising. It could be anyone who's looking for trouble and wanting to drown you in more problems more than you already have.

Remember, there would be people who cannot see clearly after knowing you for so long. Maybe they just don't want to. So adding you with more problems or for thinking that you have too much beautiful life that needs to be damaged to be looked equally fair wrecked like others'.

I'm cutting people off. Let that kind of person go, coz no guilt they would have after that they have done.

Of course, they wouldn't think they had given me a bad mood the whole day and hard nerve for hours during a 6,5 hour class on Saturday. What an ex-friend!

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